Music that Express My Feeling

Attention to those who read this post:
First of all, I am an emotional guy. I am a guy but I am pretty soft inside but that didn't make a pussy or any word that describe me feminine. So after reading this, you think I am pussy, then you can stop reading it.

Lucky, I hear these songs, Menjaga Hati by Yovie & Nuno and Sejauh Mungkin by Ungu, after I went out with Lucy. If I actually heard these songs before that, maybe the entire day mood will just bust. Seriously, after hearing these songs, for some apparent reason tears rolling down on my cheeks. It's just that I'm not crying but it's more like I am touched? (I think this is the nearest word to explain it).

The song "Menjaga Hati" was the exact expression that I used to have toward a certain girl. The song describe as exact as what I have felt for her in the past until recently. This is description of lyric in terms of my feeling.

"Your existence that has left a scarce in my heart is still linger within me. Continuous rain is hinting that love is no longer left. You have turned away.

Allow me to keep this feeling. To keep the short moment of love that you have given me. You have gone but I will not go. You are distancing but I will stay. The fact is that I am still longing for you.

Are there still light of longing within you that always portrait your feeling? I will never able erase you within me despite that I see you are distance away.

If at the end, you are still not back, I will still be alone to keep this feeling for you.

The honest truth is I really longing for you."

This really describe my feeling. I try to translate as near as possible to the song. But it will be better if you understand Indonesia or Malay at least you can see the truth of the lyric yourself.

As for the second song, "Sejauh Mungkin", describes my feeling of this very present. The aftermath of my feeling.

"The tiredness of a feeling that you didn't see if only you can feel how tiring it is for my soul because of your doing. The beautiful love that you have given to me is no longer exist for my soul to comfort on.

It's better for me to leave. Leave you alone as fas as possible just to forget you.

It's better for me to leave. Leave you alone as fas as possible just to forget you who don't really care of my feeling that love and care for you.

If I have distanced away from you, I hope you will understand and realised it."

The second song is a tad too hard to be translated. So I can only tell you to appreciate the song. Though not all the lyric in second song is true about she has given me love but the word love can be change to care. She showered me an unreasonable amount of care that comfort me.

I'm not talking about anyone else here. Yes.. She is the only girl that I have the feeling of love that is so strong that surpass my love for anything else. It even surpass my love for myself or my family that I care for the most. However the fact is seems otherwise from another point of view.

I really do not know how her feeling for me but I can guarantee that it may not be the same as mine. The unconditional love. This is what I describe my feeling for her.

It's all over now anyway. So there is no point to describe anymore. My existence mean nothing to her now. Slowly and surely, I will disappear from her life. It pains me to do this but it is the best solution. There is no other alternative solution for this. Wait for her, confess to her or forget about her is a bull crap reason. I can only distance myself and just a be her fading shadow.